GETTING CRANKY. a function of aging (or a self-endowed privilege.)

It is too easy to preach about people who describe something as “very unique,” (Heaven help me if some of my readers have to wonder what’s wrong!) or to make fun of the common misuse of the verb “to lie” – meaning to recline. I amuse myself by wondering what Faulkner meant when he wrote “As I Lay Dying,” given the common use of the word “lay” instead of “lie” – which as we know is the present tense. It is hardly ever used. But did Faulkner mean really “:As I Lie Dying” – which would put it in the present tense. Of course – he did not. But we can never be saved by the now-common “I’m going to go lay` down.” Enough pedantry.

There are new cuties that express to me, not that language is evolving, but that it is being massacred. I know. I know. Critics will accuse me of substituting propriety for reality. To those critics, the reality is that common misuse leads to eventual acceptance. Some dictionaries now offer an alternative to the pronunciation of nuclear Guess what that “acceptable” alternative is. The same dictionaries offer “momentarily” as “in a minute.” To me, it can’t be IN a minute and FOR a minute, or do you miss the contradiction?

But I have other (if not bigger) fish to fry. My favourite resource for solecisms and coined words, mixed metaphors and redundancies (i.e. free gift) is usually television. I try to believe that the fracturing of language is done on purpose to appeal to the LCD among us.

How about a ramshackle house being “jury-built?” Acceptable? Not to me. There is jury-rigged, as in using something at hand to replace a part as in “the mast of the ship came crashing down. We jury-rigged a new one from other spars.” There are two expressions: “jury-rigged” and jerry-built.” They are not interchangeable.

An old friend of mine confessed to me (he was a super writer) that it was only recently that he found out that you didn’t “hone in” on something (unless you were sharpening a razor) but that you “homed” in, meaning you “zeroed” in.

A few other lulus heard during learned discussions on TV: “Exactly right! You “hit it on the head.” Right up there with “The proof is in the pudding.” Or “I could care less.” Of course you “hit the nail on the head,” “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” And If you COULD care less then why bother when you really mean you could NOT care less.

This is just one more installment in my continuing fruitless crusade that no one really cares about. I do it because it makes me feel slightly superior. How’s that for insight?