REFORMATION AND REPENTANCE REALLY WORK

The late Johnny Wayne, in spite of his wonderful sense of comedy and his and Frank Shuster’s success – all the way to the Ed Sullivan Show, was a prickly and combative character. His tantrums in rehearsal were well known. His proclamations were many. One of my favourites was after some showbiz character made a comeback after fighting addiction. Johnny said to me: “If I were a ref0ormed alcoholic or drug addict, I would go right to the top.” We know what he meant. He was not being unkind to people who conquered the self destruction of a career. He was noting simply that there is a positive public reaction to repentance and reform. No one does better that someone who renounces his ugly past and promises to do better. It is part of the biblical allegory in Genesis of the Fall and Redemption. A redeemed sinner is better that someone who never needed redemption!

So what is it that makes a homeless, once truly wacked-out guy named Ted Williams, one of today’s heroes. He was “discovered” by a Columbus Ohio reporter. He was standing at an intersection where he was panhandling passing cars. He was delighting his audience with a deep, mellow, radio-announcer voice. If the Enquirer reporter hadn’t told the story, he might still be on the corner pretending to be an announcer. Instead he has been offered work by the Cleveland Cavaliers. He has done a voice-over commercial for a major company. He has been re-united with his mother. He has guested on the big network morning shows out of New York. Why? All because he is repentant and has reformed.

I don’t begrudge him the work. But after a lifetime in broadcasting, including many years when I listened to audition tapes and hired on-air people, I am amused by the sudden eruption into stardom of this unlikely character.

He does have a good voice. It is resonant. It is deep. But he is no better that hundreds of radio people working hard all over America and Canada. The same mellow voice. The same announcer-ish cadence when he mouths the broadcast clichés like “coming up next on our show…”

I am glad he has reformed. I am glad he has dried out. I am glad for anyone who puts a wrecked life behind him and tries again. Nothing wrong with that.

What amuses me is the level of publicity the man is getting. It’s as if no one had ever heard a voice like his on the radio. Scan up and down the dial. The broadcast band is full of them. They are what we used to call, with apologies to Max Ferguson “Marvin Mellowbell.” He’s just a good announcer. He’s not a saint.

Maybe I should start drinking heavily. At 82, It would make a perfect picture – fighting the ravages of age and coming out from under alcoholism. That and my still resonant (I think) pipes, and I’d become the next resurrected radio voice. What an idea!