PLAY IT SAFE - STAY SMUG

There are many answers to the question: “What is a Canadian?” Aside from the obvious, much-repeated “We are not Americans,” no one has properly defined us, even to ourselves, never mind to the rest of the world.

I look for a way to define our stubborn determination to be something we can’t define. I am always lifted up by the faint praise that Canadians are “polite.” That is really a minor virtue and is used only because it could not be said that we are universally “rude.” We are, in definitive terms, an equivocation.

Now that the issue of Canadian:”identity” has once again become fogged, I have one last defining word: “smug.” I think that pretty well nails it. When the financial crisis plunged much of the world into economic despair, Canadians smugly observed that our banks were well run and our government kept them on their best behaviour. When America compromised on a health care plan we (some of us) greeted that accomplishment with the smug reminder that the Canadian system really does work, and that even the most Conservative government would not tarnish it. (See Mulroney’s famous “sacred trust” comment.) We are smug about our relative sense of safety and gun control. And because we are so smug about our political “achievement” we elected a Conservative government that is pragmatic enough to realize that the country is still a liberal democracy.

The height of political smugness is perhaps best exemplified by our scorn for the people who could send the incompetent (to put it mildly) George W. to the White House – not once, but TWICE!! Calling him an imbecile is an insult to imbeciles.

But finally, when political push comes to election shove, we are no different that our southern neighbours. Give us a mindless, populist candidate, and we rush to his side. We need to be comforted that someone cares about what is being done with our money. It’s an ancient ploy. Convince someone that he is being robbed and he will be your hero. That fact that you are not being robbed doesn’t matter. It only matters that you believe it.

The populist candidate is at best a demagogue, at worst a liar. But in the annals of political history no one has ever refuted the “big lie” theory of success.

It is with great dismay that my favourite city (no, it is not Paris) is about to take to its bosom a new mayor who is dining out on allegations of waste and close-door scheming.

The last time we had one of those guys sitting in our mayor’s chair he boasted that he would not raise taxes. Tax-whiners flocked to his tent. (The moratorium led to decaying infrastructure that soon would come back to haunt us.) He was instrumental in losing the Olympic bid with his preposterous (all in fun?) comment about not visiting Africa because he would end up in a pot of boiling water. Result: African countries voted unanimously against our city. But even today he is still revered for his garbage collection policies and his promise not to plow snow over your driveway entrance.

We have another one and we’re making him look like a winner. He is loud-mouthed. He is no stranger to liquid refreshment and its accompanying insults. An oaf is going to City Hall.

Former mayor Phil Givens once said to me: “People don’t get what they deserve; they get what’s coming to them.” We’ve come full circle. Phil lost because he thought it was important to have the Henry Moore sculpture “The Archer” at City Hall. His opponents said he was an elitist. (No one cared that Mayor Phil bought the sculpture with private subscription.)

The same sheep-like voters who have put nitwits in the mayor’s chair are ready to do it all over again.

We have nothing, absolutely nothing – to be smug about. The barbarians are not just at the gates – they have entered the city.