ERECTILE MALFUNCTION

I have grown attached to certain TV commercials. There are now three products vying for supremacy in the male impotence sweepstakes: the original Viagra, the johnny-come-lately Cialis, and a product called Levitra that seems to hover somewhere between a cure for “E.D.” and a high blood pressure and clot removing drug. None of the above is in my medicine chest. In fact, I think they should not be in a medicine chest in the first place, but in the bar. But that’s another story, or just a bad joke.

I am fascinated because last month marked the 39th anniversary of my sudden departure from talk radio after a frank series about sexual failure, which I pronounced a national epidemic, an opinion that is borne out today by the attention paid to male failure.

But wait. When I did my ill-fated series, we believed, and the belief was supported by all those who understood male AND female sexuality, that sexual ability did not originate in the nether regions – it originated between your ears! Impotence, or what today we love to call erectile dysfunction – was perceived to be caused by physical problems about 5% of the time. The problem was cultural, emotional, and spiritual – whatever you use to define intellectual activity. Now presto – you don’t need a shrink – you need a pill! You don’t have to understand WHY you can’t function, because in today’s society there is a pill for everything. But the success of the pill masks a far deeper problem. Male vanity coupled with a lack of real ego strength leads to insecurity, which leads to E.D. You can take a pill but the “real” problem won’t go away.

In fact, the apparently inaccurate title I used here is a lot more valid that the rather antiseptic word "dysfunction" which suggests that it is a "condition."

Going back to 1970 my real problem seemed to be that I countenanced masturbation as a method to have people, especially women, actually experience the feeling of orgasm. I used the most circumspect language. I believe today that that so-called circumspect language, which tries to avoid vulgarity, also disguises and camouflages the ability to understand. Today, nearly 40 years later we can’t use the words, although, in fairness, a word that helped get me off the air, is commonplace to-day: erection. As in “if you have one lasting over 4 hours see your doctor.” You should be so lucky. I remember using the word “priapism” which to many people was undecipherable.

Now to the most glaring lack of real sexual understanding: when Viagra first came out there was some plaintive questions from females about what the product could do for them. Answer: nothing.

Which brings me back to the final straw in my own downfall all those years ago: long and frank conversations with women about their own failure to achieve orgasm. Today of course there is open discussion from people like Sue Johansson and even to the titillating giggly style of yesterday's frank-talking guru: Dr. Ruth.

I remember my last visit to Istanbul. Viagra had just exploded onto the world’s sexual stage. There in the Spice Bazaar was a product with the unabashedly frank label: ‘Natural Viagra.”

One thing good: they’ve taken sexuality out of the closet.